Where does a lack of confidence come from, and how do we change it?
Ah, yes. Confidence. We all know those people that ooze the stuff, right? The people that seem unafraid of anything and are simply magnetic.
But how do we become more like them?
First, we need to know where a lack of self confidence comes from.
A lack of self confidence = a lack of self worth.
When you know how absolutely amazing you are, and you trust that, it becomes easy to share who you are with those around you. You don't second guess your actions because you aren't second guessing yourself.
Many of my clients, if not all of them, battle this in some form. As have I!
Aside from hiring someone and doing the deep inner work, there are plenty of things you can do in your own life now to help you build confidence.
- LEARN. And never stop. Learn new skills. Take classes. Take courses. Research online. Learn about things you know nothing about. Dive deeper into your interests. Take in knowledge like it's your job. You will have much more confidence because you are building who you are, and you'll be proud of that.
- Personal Inquiry. Get curious with yourself. What areas of your life do you wish you had more confidence? Do you wish you were confident in the gym? Great! Hire a personal trainer to get you used to using the equipment, or watch videos online as you exercise at home. Do you wish you were more confident at work? Ask your boss what areas you could grow, and read a book on that area or study that topic. Make your weaknesses your strengths. You have that power.
- Experience new things. Fail forward, as they say. Imagine this scenario:
As a kid, every night at the dinner table your parents asked you what you failed at that day. When you responded, they high fived you and commended you for 'failing.' You would have a much different relationship with failure now, wouldn't you?
Recognize that your beliefs may not be true. Failing *isn't* actually a bad thing! So get out there and mess up over and over again. Change your relationship with failure by doing it again and again. It gets easier, just like anything else does with practice.
- Fake it 'till you make it. Yep, you read that right. Your body and your mind are SUPER connected. If you curled up in a ball under your bed and breathed heavily like you were terrified, your mind would think you actually are, and you would start to feel terrified. You can do the opposite. Use your body posture/stance to tell your brain you're confident. Stand tall. Shoulders back. Move more slowly and intentionally. Lift your chin. Slow your breathing. Smile. Even if you don't feel confident at first, you will start tricking your mind into thinking you are, simply by shifting the position your body is in. The human body is super cool like that. (And, you'll be perceived as confident! And that feels awesome!)
I could overwhelm you with a thousand things to do, but I'll leave it at that for now. Before you leave this page, choose ONE action step that you can take in the next 24 hours, and commit to it.
If you are looking to take action, the Inhale Journal is a great place to start.